Category Archives: Siblings

Joyride

red convertibleThe secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.

Any fool can do it; there ain’t nothing to it.

Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill.

But since we’re on our way down,

We might as well enjoy the ride.

Sliding down, gliding down, try not to try too hard.

It’s just a lovely ride.

James Taylor—The Secret ‘O Life

I don’t always recognize I’m headed for collapse until, speeding down the freeway at 100 mph, dashboard warnings flashing, I veer off the road to make an emergency stop. I’ve gotten so good at disregarding my maintenance lights, by the time I realize I’m in trouble, I’m already sputtering and careening; out of gas, overheated, or worse, out of control, crashing and taking out everyone around me.

When we moved from Missouri back to Austin, Texas in 2003, circumstances combined to create a fusion of indescribable stress that will go down in Kent family history as The-Time-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named.   Every member of our family was a hot mess; Haley, 5 weeks old, a textbook example of a colicky infant, emitted a type of banshee wailing that could literally wake the dead, and was silenced only when nursing (constantly) or sleeping (rarely).  Sydney, 4 years old, with modulating sensory integration issues, experienced overstimulation, auditorily and otherwise. She was confused and jealous.  Her ‘elopement’ was at an all-time high and, thanks to a very ambitious preschool teacher, potty training had begun in earnest (it took two years to fully train our sweetie and it wasn’t the potty that was so much the problem).  Let that image crystallize for a moment: Clingy, wailing infant on the boob and pooping-in-her-britches toddler on the run.

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Filed under Down syndrome, Family, Grandparents, Motherhood, Parenting, Self-Care, Siblings, Special Needs, Stress

Joined at the Strands

braid

Sister, you been on my mind.

Sister, we’re two of a kind.

Oh, sister, I’m keepin’ my eye on you.

‘Miss Celie’s Blues’ from TheColor Purple.

My little sister thinks I hung the moon.  Even though I tortured her when we were young—literally—to this day she affords me hero-worship of which I am entirely undeserving.  And when she’s in pain, I still find myself wanting to make everything better though she’s across the country and not in the next room.  2,000 miles separate us now and our visits are too few, too far between. The reunions are bittersweet.  Even still, after a few days together well-worn patterns resurface.  I can be controlling and bossy.  She tends towards flighty and irresponsible. But we have the same nose. And thighs.  We laugh at the same jokes.  We share memories of times both good and not so good.  When we’re together we are children again and neither time nor distance can alter that connection.  Sisters; the love/hate bond of this relationship is like no other, making it one of the most sustaining to span a lifetime.

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Filed under Babies, Childbirth, Down syndrome, Family, Parenting, Siblings, Sisterhood, Special Needs

Symphony in the Silence

tree notes moon

Simple, profound truths come in quiet moments.  They descend gently in the warmth of a setting sun.  For me, it’s an altered perception, a shift; when time stretches and slows, and epiphanies unfold in brilliant clarity.   My daughter, Sydney lives in those moments.

Life moves fast and some say time itself is speeding up.  The efficiency of our amazing technological advances allows for rapid, immediate digital interactions but rather than creating more space in our lives, it generates a frenetic, frenzied pace as we move faster and faster, trying to do more and more.  As a mom I’ve certainly succumbed to the pressure of technostress.  The conveniences intended to make my life easier actually increase the expectations I place on myself until I am perpetually, chronically, frantically busy.  I’m weary of hearing my own response to the question “How are you?” “So busy. Crazy busy! But great!”   And I mean it; I love my life, but too much doing, not enough being resulted in everything going out and not much coming back in.  Before I knew what had happened the joy I felt in living was shrouded by the responsibilities that living demanded.

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Filed under Down syndrome, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Siblings, Sisterhood, Special Needs