Category Archives: Parenting

To Everything a Season

Book stack
 
The way I walk I see my mother walking, the feet secure and firm upon the ground.
The way I talk I hear my daughter talking, and hear my mother’s echo in the sound.
The way she thought I find myself now thinking, the generations linking in a firm continuum of mind.
The bridge of immortality I’m walking, the voice before me echoing behind.
by Dorothy Hilliard Moffatt

The hostas are coming up; tiny shoots penetrating the soil and unfurling, the coils of their leaves break the earth in a luscious green array.  The newness of each eruption symbolizes advent, a beginning.   Winter’s end yields to a yawning genesis of pure potentiality; at its origin, the verdant metamorphosis of a living thing is simply breath-taking.  And sensual.  It is the caress of a gossamer breeze across the face; the warmth of sunshine on skin; the lyric birdsong of nest-makers in flight.   It is, too, the delicate scent of a newborn’s hair inhaled, the soft curve of a cheek traced, the exquisite beauty of a child’s form realized.  Senses awaken.  Life, lying dormant, regenerates.  From nothing, something.   This is how it starts—the dawning of spring.  The cycle of a human life.

My Grammy died a few months before Sydney, with a full head of copper hair, was born.  My fiery Irish matriarch of a grandmother called me ‘love,’ drank Olympia beer from the little cans and quoted A.A. Milne.  She was the first person I loved to die (“Don’t say ‘pass away’ when I’m gone, FOR GOD’S SAKE.  I’ll be DEAD!  Say, ‘She died.’”).  I was bereft she wasn’t there to hold her great-granddaughter, but the significance of one life ending and another beginning wasn’t lost on me.  Ancestral generations come full circle and begin again.  I must fade so my children can blossom.

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Filed under Adolescence, Aging, Babies, Grandparents, Growing Up, Loss, Memories, Motherhood, Parenting, Self-Care

Joined at the Strands

braid

Sister, you been on my mind.

Sister, we’re two of a kind.

Oh, sister, I’m keepin’ my eye on you.

‘Miss Celie’s Blues’ from TheColor Purple.

My little sister thinks I hung the moon.  Even though I tortured her when we were young—literally—to this day she affords me hero-worship of which I am entirely undeserving.  And when she’s in pain, I still find myself wanting to make everything better though she’s across the country and not in the next room.  2,000 miles separate us now and our visits are too few, too far between. The reunions are bittersweet.  Even still, after a few days together well-worn patterns resurface.  I can be controlling and bossy.  She tends towards flighty and irresponsible. But we have the same nose. And thighs.  We laugh at the same jokes.  We share memories of times both good and not so good.  When we’re together we are children again and neither time nor distance can alter that connection.  Sisters; the love/hate bond of this relationship is like no other, making it one of the most sustaining to span a lifetime.

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Filed under Babies, Childbirth, Down syndrome, Family, Parenting, Siblings, Sisterhood, Special Needs

Symphony in the Silence

tree notes moon

Simple, profound truths come in quiet moments.  They descend gently in the warmth of a setting sun.  For me, it’s an altered perception, a shift; when time stretches and slows, and epiphanies unfold in brilliant clarity.   My daughter, Sydney lives in those moments.

Life moves fast and some say time itself is speeding up.  The efficiency of our amazing technological advances allows for rapid, immediate digital interactions but rather than creating more space in our lives, it generates a frenetic, frenzied pace as we move faster and faster, trying to do more and more.  As a mom I’ve certainly succumbed to the pressure of technostress.  The conveniences intended to make my life easier actually increase the expectations I place on myself until I am perpetually, chronically, frantically busy.  I’m weary of hearing my own response to the question “How are you?” “So busy. Crazy busy! But great!”   And I mean it; I love my life, but too much doing, not enough being resulted in everything going out and not much coming back in.  Before I knew what had happened the joy I felt in living was shrouded by the responsibilities that living demanded.

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Filed under Down syndrome, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Siblings, Sisterhood, Special Needs